Today I put Big Dog to Sleep forever

Today I put Big Dog to Sleep forever. It was hard to take him to the vet.. he is///was so loving.. so good.. He wanted to be with me.. or with Paul all the time..
He was named to be a shadow.. not a manager.. which we once had.. or dirt as we had also.. although Boden was a great dog too...

He came to us to keep us safe, to keep me from feeling alone in a new location.. He was gentle.. and yep a really good barker. He was like a security blanket yet he was able to be big and scary without being a hazard in a working environment.

He would lay at our feet.. sometimes he was stinky.. I think some of that at the end was it was harder for him to clean himself as well as he did when he was younger.

I wanted a big dog.. one that would be scary to those who did not know him.. to help patrol and protect.. and he did.. but I also needed a dog that could handle our environment, not be dangerous to all the small children in our lives... and he was.. It was a tall order and yet there he was.. at the Animal Shelter.. a big beautiful German Shepherd dog...

Who would throw such a dog away.. there had to be something wrong with him to be there you would think.. They said they thought he was probably about 4 years old.. had no health issues, no known behavioral issues and was just standing in his kennel area.. I couldn't get him out of my mind.. He was the answer to what I said I wanted in a dog to move out to the campus...
So I had to test him.. I took one of my 2 year grandsons with me.. had to see how the dog would be with a baby.. the parents were not too happy with me.. but we took him out of the kennel.. and walked him around.. and he was gentle.. baby put his arms around him.. pulled on him.. put his hands in his mouth etc.. and the dog basically ignored him.. without hurting him at all. .yep.. I could try this dog out..
So we brought him home.. to our small trailer I brought home a giant dog.. giant in heart and love. Something must have traumatized him though.. he didn't bark for the first two weeks.. we were not sure he could... then he started that..

He loved to ride in cars.. and since he was not fixed he was a little bit of a wanderer.. pretty soon the whole city police dept knew him.. he got a name tag with a phone number so that if someone found him they could call.. and he would jump into almost any car.. He loved to go for rides.. he could jump into the back of a pickup with the gate up.. he was a big dog..and he would gladly jump into the back of the police man's car to be brought home.. It was little intimidating at first when a police car came to the house.. but then out jumps our Big Dog.. and after that the police were friends..

Once he was fixed some of his wandering stopped.. and that helped.. then it was only to learn to work with him so his barking was kept under control at night.. a lot of times that would mean into the house.. I had to keep getting after him about laying on the couches.. eventually he learned..

He never made a mess in the house.. never.. He was very well trained in that respect. He never really chewed on things.. except he loved bones.. so I enjoyed finding the biggest ones I could.. he really like them.. I wonder how many will be dug up as we continue our landscaping..

So for over 6 years he watched over us and our campus.. He made friends with almost everyone.. One of the first weeks we got him we had a tour of seniors come through..one of the men went and bought us a big bag of dog food and said we needed to feed our dog.. He was very thin when we got him.. but he didn't stay that way for long.. he weighed in over 90 pounds when fleshed out..

He was gorgeous.. I still do not know who would have put a beautiful well behaved German Shepherd dog into an Animal Shelter.. we gave him a good home..we gave him a great family.. and we will very much miss him..

Then he started having a hard time getting up.. last summer.. I took him to the local vets.. then to the cities to try and understand what was going on.. When I left him there because we were dealing with Paul's sister Kate's passing.. I cried and tried to let him go.. inside.. I think I was letting Kate go at the same time.. After Kate had passed, I went back to get him since I had been in contact with the vets.. I decided to bring him home again.. and see what would happen.. Because we knew he could not handle the cars and in and outs any more we moved to the new house on campus, even before it was ready for us.. ohhh that was cold. But it seemed to do the job for Big Dog..

I really was sad that we didn't stay longer at the cabin.. the flowers were in prime bloom.. but ohh well.. slowly Big Dog got better and seemed to do OK.. although sometimes it hurt.. and he was not up to what he used to be... Then in the late spring.. he could not get up.. I was not sure what was needed then.. I called the vets.. and after last summer had done lots of research.. understood that this happens to big dogs.. a kind of loss of hind quarter strength.. read what was normal.. tried to change Big Dog's diet some to help.. and for a while it did.. but when he couldn't get up without help.. I knew it was only a matter of time..

When we had to move out to the cabin this summer.. it just made it all the harder.. he had to stay with his people.. us.. we were his pack... but in and out of cars again.. being lifted in and out was getting to be to hard on him and us.. and occasionally lifting him up when he couldn't just to get moving..

Now we made the decision.. He is just too big for our normal animal babysitters to work with.. like we were doing.. and he was having more pain all the time..
So.. today.. I put my dog to sleep.. It was just a very quick putting to sleep.. and that was all.. no pain..

I will miss him.. and when it is time.. I will get another dog.. perhaps not as big a one.. we will see.. Maybe he will come back in another dog form.. after he has had time to play again in that big rolling meadow where he can chase rabbits and mice and squirrels and other small moving rodents all he wants.. good bye Big Dog.. thank you so much for all you did for me and for us and for the campus..I miss you.. and I am so sorry I had to do it..

I know that a lot of people will not understand.. but I also know you were ready to not have to deal with the pain and the inability to do the things you wanted to as a big active dog.. good bye my friend... until we meet again in whatever form.. and place and time...