Today I want to let the light in.. and feel it warm my bones and sinews and all that is in me.. I want to put any pain aside.. any emotional baggage should not be imbued into the body but dealt with separately... and joy should be felt within as a warm bright light. I am a wonderful exceptionally brilliant light.. I can let my light shine without it hurting anyone else.

I should focus on things that need to be done that I can do. I should be aware of my body and listen to it as it tells me what it needs to keep the light in.

I need to let go of things that do not matter. To not worry about the things I cannot change, the choices I make for reasons that are not always things that make me happy because I think the grass would be greener on the other side of that choice yet responsibility makes me choose that one. I need to realize that often it is in the doing of such things I do find happiness, but then sometimes I have to just say no.. and let it go too....

It takes time to create.. I need to allow myself some of that time.. and be patient with the processes of creation. I need to enjoy the life that is within, the joy of the moment and the forces for good that surround me. I appreciate each individual that comes into my awareness and know they are there for a purpose.

I want colors... bright light colors to surround me and brilliant pinks and purples and yellows and greens and a beautiful blue sky and gray clouds and quiet rainy days. I wonder if I think in colors. I perceive colors in many things. This house is still unfolding it's colors and shapes and what is needed...

I need to walk outside and ground my feet in the sandy soils and let my being talk with the trees that surround the house again.. I need to become grounded..and make this house into my home.. and that is part of the creation process that I need to be patient about.. because it takes energy to find the items that need to come into the space to make it comfortable.. I need the time to focus some energy into it though...

Some of that will be light... lots of lights.. colored lights... and reading lights and being lights... all over.. and in specific spots.. to help as light therapy... maybe with our earlier and earlier nights.. I need that already too..

How does anyone really work outside the home and make a house into a home? and find the time to be creative within a home setting... because all the creative ability gets spent at the work place... I think that might be part of my frustration... so many things not allowing me to focus on making my house into a home.. and thus not being able to feel as creative within the house yet.. not getting the lights I need..

Yep.. got to choose a day and say.. this is my day.. not a work day anymore.. that just has not been easy... and not sure how to do that yet... hmmm... well this has been a good thinking session, but my body says it is bed time...
good night